I Hate Dogs for What Their Popularity Says About Us

By Ryan Kearney @rkearneyPhoto: Flickr/sonictk

Yesterday, Slate tech columnist Farhad Manjoo slipped outside of his beat, which he does infrequently, to rail against dogs. Clearly, the man had had enough. Following in the footsteps of such #slatepitches as “Stop Telling Your Toddler to Share,” Manjoo’s piece, “No, I Do Not Want to Pet Your Dog,” is a screed against the “cultural assumption that everyone must love dogs” and laments that “in the last decade, dogs achieved dominion over urban America. They are everywhere now, allowed in places that used to belong exclusively to humans, and sometimes only to human adults: the office, restaurants, museums, buses, trains, malls, supermarkets, barber shops, banks, post offices.” It is a reasonable piece of opinion—and of trolling, I suppose, as every piece about dogs necessarily is. The commenters and commentators of the Internet responded predictably: Dan Savage loved it (“Your Dog Sucks”), a Mother Jones reporter called it a “fascist column,” and most everyone else fell somewhere in between.

Manjoo insists he does not “actively despise mutts,” and while I agree with his every word, we diverge here. I do hate dogs—the entire species—and not because of some worthy, high-minded idea about our shared public space. I hate dogs both because they're quite dumb, and because humans’ unconditional love for such obviously dim-witted creatures does not speak well for us.

I happen to have a legitimate cause for detesting dogs that invade my personal space: I am allergic to them. I can hear the uproar now: “Oh, so that’s why you hate dogs!” My allergy is often used to dismiss my case against dogs, the logic being: He hates dogs because he can't get close to them without becoming allergic; thus, he’s incapable of experiencing what makes dogs so special, what makes them man and woman's best friend (well, best friend after our actual best friends, who are human, and perhaps also our cars and iPhones). Alas, that is not the case. I am not immune to dogs' cuteness. I have petted a few of them in my time—usually because I’m under the influence, or the dog is hypoallergenic—and have enjoyed it well enough, at least until my eyes began itching and my otherwise mild asthma became suffocating. Other than that, a nice experience!

But boy are dogs dumb, sniffing everything as they go, tongue hanging out, always barking at other dogs, pissing on lampposts and shitting in the grass (sometimes left for me to step on). You protest, I know. Some smart people say dogs are smart! But those smart people are almost certainly dog owners, too. Just because a dog can retrieve a stick or recognize your voice or even, in some cases, find its way home after running away is not proof of exceptional intelligence. I’m more inclined to believe researchers who say dogs are about as smart as 2-year-old humans—which is to say, pretty dumb. Cats, another domesticated animal to which I am also allergic and yet don't hate, are demonstrably more clever. Even leading dog-brain guy Brian Hare, who has an academic andfinancial interest in promoting the intelligence of dogs, concludes aWall Street Journal piece—titled “Why Dogs Are Smarter Than Cats,” no less—by writing, “And what might the genius of cats be? Possibly, that they just can't be bothered playing our silly games or giving us the satisfaction of discovering the extent of their intelligence.”

Nail on the head right there. Cats don't rush me the moment I enter a room and put their paws on my chest or sniff my pant leg or shove their snout into my crotch or bark loudly or lick or bite me. Dogs alone do—which, in a way, is why so many people love them. Dogs are almost certainly the world’s most affectionate species, giving their owners what (most) humans, out of self-respect, cannot: mute devotion. This, after all, is how dogs came to be domesticated in the first place, as Hare once explained to Slate: Wolves learned to hang around humans because we're a reliable food source, and a “survival of the friendliest” led certain groups of them to domesticate. Our ancestors learned that dogs were good for protection, hunting, and companionship.

Now, of course, we have complex electronic security systems infinitely more intelligent than dogs, and which a would-be robber cannot trick with a raw hamburger stuffed with sedatives. Few of us, relative to our ancestors, use dogs for hunting. Which means that, aside from several obvious niche uses (guiding the blind, sniffing for bombs or drugs, chasing down criminals; I draw the line at "therapy dogs"), we now rely on dogs for only one thing: to be our living stuffed animal, something to cuddle with when we're feeling sad or wistful or lonely. That is all we ask of them—that they always be there when we need them—and they happily oblige, since we also happen to feed them in the process.

Some find poetry in the simplicity of this transaction. I see human neediness, if not weakness, and perhaps even exploitation. "Dogs don't talk back" is a common refrain, and meant to be positive. But we are the most intelligent beings, ever—capable of profound, complex thoughts, which we can express to each other thanks to the hundreds of intricate languages we have developed over our species’ history. Why not use these wonderful words we’ve invented? Instead, after a rough day, a dog owner might lie quietly on the couch with his pooch, and somehow this makes him feel better, as if through osmosis the dog had somehow helped him work through his complicated feelings. Or the dog owner will talk to the dog, knowing full well that the dog does not, and never will—unlike babies—understand what they’re saying. Talking to humans can be exhausting, and threatens to further complicate one’s feelings. Another human would talk back, and the dog owner would have to sit there and listen, and maybe reconsider what he’s feeling. With a dog, it's one-way conversation: I talk, it listens, and whatever I say is implicitly accepted as truth. Conversing with dogs, we’re always right.

Dogs are, simply put, our servants—personal butlers that bring us fun and affection. And if they don't follow our orders? Well, how adorable. And that is what distinguishes good dog owners from bad. The former, of which there are many, discipline their dogs to behave in public. The latter, of which there are many more, can’t bear to be mean to their puppy, and so the dog grows up to think it rules the world, then runs into Farhad Manjoo at the gym. The owner of a misbehaving dog is obviously to blame for not training this animal he has purchased—as if the sole agreement were that the owner would agree to house and feed it, to not let it die from malnourishment—but the dog surely is to blame, too. Its evolution has not been as spectacular as Hare would have you believe. All these years, still it cannot communicate with its owners other than by barking or whimpering, wagging its tail or raising its ears. Perhaps that’s for the best, though, for when I look into a dog’s eyes, I see a black hole of stupidity, a creature that chose to eat garbage rather than compete with alpha males in its natural habitat, and that now tries to make up for it by mounting or fighting other dogs (or a surrogate, like me). When it’s not doing that, it’s eatingFrench Country Café or sleeping or chasing sticks (or phantom sticks—a little game I like to play).

Come to think of it, that sounds like a pretty good gig (assuming you're not one of the millions that, as a result of our cultural obsession with dogs, are euthanized in shelters every year). All the species had to do win our hearts was hang around our refuse, and now we pay hundreds of dollars for the right to feed them and wash their coats and scoop up their shit with our hands. Sure, some dogs might be genetically crippled, with bum legs or labored breathing, but they get to eat and play and sleep all day—and sometimes even screw. Perhaps I have long misunderstood this storied man-dog relationship. Maybe we are their butlers. Maybe we are the dumb ones.

Ryan Kearney is the executive web editor at The New Republic.

Katherine Von Ault February 21 at 9:34am http://thesimpleanswers.com/2012/07/28/god-hates-dogs/

Katherine Von Ault

February 21 at 9:34am

http://thesimpleanswers.com/2012/07/28/god-hates-dogs/

GOD HATES DOGS

This shocking title is one of the easiest statements to prove from the Bible; and at the same time, one of the most offensive to your average person. Everyone loves dogs – loves them beyond measure or reason. Yet God hates them. But before I explain why, you need to see just how much God hates them.

Matthew 7:6 Give not that which is holy unto the dogs, neither cast ye your pearls before swine, lest they trample them under their feet, and turn again and rend you.

There is nothing good said about dogs in the Bible. God has only negative comparisons and threats to make about dogs; when he doesn’t like someone, he calls them a dog.

2 Samuel 16:9 Then said Abishai the son of Zeruiah unto the king, Why should this dead dog [a man who was cursing David] curse my lord the king? let me go over, I pray thee, and take off his head.

But when he really hates someone, He feeds them to the dogs.

1 Kings 21:23-24 And of Jezebel also spake the LORD, saying, The dogs shall eat Jezebel by the wall of Jezreel. Him that dieth of Ahab in the city the dogs shall eat; and him that dieth in the field shall the fowls of the air eat.

There dogs are seen doing the same job that buzzards do; eating the dead. Dogs, even civilized dogs, do have some disgusting habits that God points out – primarily, eating their own vomit:

Proverbs 26:11 As a dog returneth to his vomit, so a fool returneth to his folly.

Here by comparison, equating dogs with fools. So far they’ve been equated with fools and buzzards – next, equated with the wicked:

Philippians 3:2 Beware of dogs, beware of evil workers, beware of the concision.

Another trait God hates about dogs is their greed; given the opportunity, they will eat and eat until they literally make themselves sick.

Isaiah 56:11 Yea, they are greedy dogs which can never have enough, and they are shepherds that cannot understand: they all look to their own way, every one for his gain, from his quarter.

And so because of God’s hatred for dogs, God has made rules that dogs are not allowed access to anything holy – that was the first verse we quoted. They are also not entitled to bread promised to the children of God:

Matthew 15:26 (BBE) And he made answer and said, It is not right to take the children’s bread and give it to the dogs.

…Nor can you even bring the money you get for selling a dog into the house of God.

Deuteronomy 23:18 Thou shalt not bring the hire of a whore, or the price of a dog, into the house of the LORD thy God for any vow: for even both these are abomination unto the LORD thy God.

There God uses the word “abomination” to describe how he feels about the price of a dog – by extension, the dog itself – since he speaks of it in the same breath as whoredom, which He also hates. The jump from “abomination” to “hatred” is rather obvious – but let’s prove it anyway:

Proverbs 6:16 These six things doth the LORD hate: yea, seven are an abomination unto him:

So when God says dogs are an abomination, that’s an equivalent term to “The Lord hates them”, based on this verse. But since this article will offend many people, I’m going to belabor the point:

Jeremiah 44:4 Howbeit I sent unto you all my servants the prophets, rising early and sending them, saying, Oh, do not this ABOMINABLE thing THAT I HATE.

God hates abominable things. Dogs are an abomination; therefore God hates dogs. Certainly all the other verses back up this conclusion about God’s opinion of dogs. And if any doubt was left…

Revelation 22:14-15 Blessed are they that do his commandments, that they may have right to the tree of life,and may enter in through the gates into the city. For without are dogs, and sorcerers, and whoremongers, and murderers, and idolaters, and whosoever loveth and maketh a lie.

There will be no dogs in the Holy City. An entire city where God dwells will be completely free of all dogs! God made no such statement about any other animal on Earth! Why the antipathy of dogs? Why single them out for abuse?

Ecclesiastes 9:4 For to him that is joined to all the living there is hope: for a living dog is better than a dead lion.

This is probably the nicest thing God said about dogs in the Bible; and even here, it’s clearly the use of opposites; lion as the most noble, and dogs as the most vile, but still – a dead lion is of less value than a live dog. But to read between the lines… just barely less.

SO WHY DOES GOD HATE THEM?

The entire world – likely you, yourself – loves dogs. Not only loves them, but considers them man’s best friend, often bestowing more love on them than on their children. Bitterly resenting any criticism of their dog, whether it barks all night for no reason, kills the neighbors cat, digs up the petunias; it doesn’t matter, most dogs can do no wrong in the eyes of their owners.

And yet God hates dogs. Why the difference? Why does God despise something the world adores? And if God hates something so much, why create them in the first place? Well, there are a few different levels of answers, we will deal with the more Biblical ones first, before we get to the answer that really explains the reason why.

First, dogs are used as symbols in the Bible; like most symbols, they are dual; literal dogs are often intended, but spiritual dogs are more often the real point of the statement. There are two Greek words used in the NT translated as “dog(s)”; Kuon and its root word Kunarion.

For whatever reason, Kunarion is only used to refer to gentiles, whether literal or spiritual. For example:

Matthew 15:26 (BBE) …It is not right to take the children’s bread and give it to the dogs [kunarion].

The woman asking was a gentile, and clearly this was referring to her. Most of the uses in the NT are the “gentile dog” variety. But the other word used, Kuon, is never used for gentiles; it strictly refers to sinners.

“For without [the holy city] are dogs [kuon], and sorcerers, and whoremongers…[etc]”,Revelation 22:15; (The other uses ofKuon are Matthew 7:6, Luke 16:21, Philippians 3:2 and 2 Peter 2:22.

But regardless, it is plain that spiritual gentiles will not receive the children’s bread unless they are adopted; just as no sinner who continues to sin after the return of Christ will be in the kingdom of God. So these are the spiritual applications. In the OT, God called those crucifying Christ dogs…

Psalms 22:16-20 For dogs have compassed me: the assembly of the wicked have inclosed me: they pierced my hands and my feet. … they look and stare upon me. They part my garments among them, and cast lots upon my vesture. … Deliver my soul from the sword; my darling from the power of the dog.

In this obvious prophecy of Jesus’ last day, these “dogs” pierced his feet; a Roman soldier did that. They cast lots on his clothes – again, Roman soldiers did that. Romans were gentiles, and wicked besides, so calling them a dog is consistent with both uses of “dog” from the NT.

So the symbolism here – the wicked and the gentiles who don’t know God – are both valid reasons for God not to like dogs.But why choose dogs to represent those parties in the first place? What is it about dogs that reminds God of the wicked or gentiles?

WHAT’S WRONG WITH DOGS

2 Peter 2:12 But these, as natural brute beasts, made to be taken and destroyed, speak evil of the things that they understand not; and shall utterly perish in their own corruption;

It doesn’t say which “brute beasts” we’re talking about here, but keep reading and it will. I won’t quote the whole thing, you can read it for yourself, but the highlights from verses 13-21describe wicked people who pretend to be true Christians, but who in fact are adulterers, sinners, liars, covetous; vain, deceitful people who “While they promise them liberty, they themselves are the servants of corruption” (verse 19).

And if the people who were once called out of the world fall for these clever lies are entangled in this web again, “the latter end is worse with them than the beginning” (verse 20).

2 Peter 2:21 For it had been better for them not to have known the way of righteousness, than, after they have known it, to turn from the holy commandment delivered unto them. But it is happened unto them according to the true proverb, The dog is turned to his own vomit again; and the sow that was washed to her wallowing in the mire.

So here we have it; the brute beasts are dogs and pigs. Without a doubt God’s least favorite creatures. This incidentally explains the proverb we quoted earlier, and unveils the symbolism; the “dog returning to his vomit” is a symbol of a unclean gentile/sinner who comes to God, then falls away and goes back to eating its own vomit – vomit here clearly represents sins.

But I still haven’t explained what’s wrong with dogs. I’ve given you a lot of reasons, but not the real cause. And to explain that, I have to explain why the world loves them – when you truly understand that, you’ll understand why God hates them, for “…that which is highly esteemed among men is abomination in the sight of God.” (Luke 16:15). There’s that word “abomination” again – and no animal is more highly esteemed among men than dogs.

WHY MEN LOVE DOGS

If you ask someone why they love dogs, the first virtue they will point to is loyalty. Dogs are intensely, fiercely loyal to their masters. It doesn’t matter whether you are an ax murderer, adulterer, racist or politician, your dog will love you. Even lawyers can have dogs.

When you come home after work, your dog will be overwhelmed with excitement just to have you home; even if you don’t treat the dog that well, most dogs you can kick and cuff around and abuse and they will still come whimpering back to you for attention, because they love you so much. Dogs quite literally worship their masters. The world loves these traits about dogs; their blind loyalty and infinite devotion. Does God?

The world believes we should worship God exactly as dogs worship their masters. And I mean no exaggeration in that – literally, it is identical. They believe we should put absolute blind faith in God and trust everything He does, beyond question and reason. That when God kicks us, we should say “Thank you, Lord” and continue slobbering our prayers to him every day. The world believes we should have blind loyalty and infinite devotion to God, no matter what.

Those shocking statements need some proof, so here goes. As just one example, most of the world believes God is torturing Chinese babies in hell for all eternity – simply because they were born to pagan parents and never even heard the name of Jesus. This appalls any reasoning mind – but not the blind faith of a dog.

No, that blind faith invents all manner of justification why their master, though in reality infinitely worse than an ax-murderer, is in fact worthy of their devotion. Most religions demand blind unquestioning obedience to their God no matter what incomprehensible, unconscionable, irrational, downright-evil thing He does.

PROVE GOD

But the true God is completely the opposite. He welcomes criticism! He says “put me to the test” Malachi 3:10 (BBE)! He said “prove ALL THINGS and hold fast that which is good” (1 Thessalonians 5:21). God is RIGHT. God makes SENSE. God is not scared of any honest criticism.

If you have a problem with God, get it out in the open and find out WHY God did something that seems unfair; Abraham did! He said “shall not the judge of all the Earth [God] do right?”(Genesis 18:25). Moses demanded that God “Turn from thy fierce wrath, and repent of this evil against thy people.”(Exodus 32:12).

No dog would EVER take such an attitude against his master. And your average Christian would NEVER talk back to God that way! Yet Abraham was called the “friend of God” (James 2:23), and God spoke to Moses “face to face, as a man speaketh unto his friend” (Exodus 33:11). Both of whom openly defied God when they thought God was doing something unjust!

That would HORRIFY the senses of any modern worshiper of God! “Stand back”, they’d say to bystanders, “so the lightning doesn’t singe you!” – because it is not the place of a dog to question His master. But it is the place of a friend. Which are we?

John 15:13-15 Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends. Ye are my friends, IF ye do whatsoever I command you. Henceforth I call you not servants; for the servant knoweth not what his lord doeth: BUT I HAVE CALLED YOU FRIENDS;

We are not to be scratching at the door of God’s temple, whining after Him all day long anxiously awaiting a pat on the head (although that does characterize your average prayer these days); we are to be the friends of God. A friend is someone who understands you; someone who “gets” you. Someone who has the right to ask you what you are doing and why; and who has a right to a fair, honest answer.

Someone who, while they will give you the benefit of the doubt,will not let you commit murder without saying something, no matter how much they might “trust” you! No matter how loyal a friend they might be a true friend will not back you if you are wrong.

Surely “friends” in today’s world will; but not in God’s world. When David sinned, God said so. He isn’t shy about pointing out the flaws even in His heroes. When you are wrong, when I am wrong, even if you think God Himself is wrong – then no matter who or what they are, you have an obligation to tell them so – and anyone else who is involved!

Deuteronomy 13:6-9 If thy brother, … or thy son, or thy daughter, or the wife of thy bosom, or thy friend, which is as thine own soul, entice thee secretly, saying, Let us go and serve other gods … Thou shalt not consent unto him, nor hearken unto him; neither shall thine eye pity him, neither shalt thou spare, neither shalt thou conceal him: But thou shalt surely kill him; thine hand shall be first upon him to put him to death, and afterwards the hand of all the people.

Wrong is wrong, no matter who does it. Sin is sin. Evil is evil.But not to a dog. To a dog, his master can do no wrong; and he will kill you for suggesting it. He will defend his master to the death, whether his master deserves his loyalty or not. This is the trait so beloved by men – and so hated by God.

A true friend will not hide your sin; but a dog is compelled to justify your wickedness and/or pretend it never happened. And quite simply, the doctrine of hell is murder; worse than murder, it is a torture so excruciating and so eternal that it makes the worst monsters of history look like Mother Theresa in comparison.

If you are God’s friend, you can question that doctrine, seek proof of it in the Bible, and finding none, reject it (for more information on that topic, read “Is This The Only Day Of Salvation?”). But if you are God’s dog, you are compelled to invent irrational justifications to make your master seem sane.

If you are God’s friend, you have to compare what your church teaches to how the Bible describes that one true God. If “God Is Love” and “God is not willing that any should perish”, thenthere is no way He is torturing babies in hell. It’s simply not possible.

And so you question the God presented to you by your church, and if you find that He doesn’t square with the true God, you move on until you find one that is closer to the true God. The true God will not fear your scrutiny. Because He is right, He does make sense, and investigating, testing, and questioning Him will only prove that more solidly!

God doesn’t want a dog. He hates dogs. He wants friends.

BLIND FAITH IN THE WRONG GOD

God is a God of law. A God of truth. But there is another God out there; or rather, a god. A “god of this world” (2 Corinthians 4:4), who has “blinded the minds of them which believe not”; and he has very different demands of his followers.

2 Corinthians 11:4 (NKJV) For if he who comes preaches ANOTHER JESUS whom we have not preached, or if you receive a different spirit which you have not received, or a different gospel which you have not accepted—you may well put up with it!

You see, there is another Jesus out there. He has the same name as the true Jesus, but He preaches a different gospel!He died on a cross for your sins but has a different spirit to offer you than the true Jesus.

2 Corinthians 11:14 (NKJV) And no wonder! For Satan himself transforms himself into an angel of light.

Satan doesn’t appear to the world as a horned devil! He appears to them as an angel of light! And his servants – his ministers – appear as ministers of righteousness! And they teach a different gospel! And in that gospel, you MUST show blind faith in God! You MUST be intensely loyal! You must respond to God murdering someone with “bless you Lord, you must have your reasons!”; you must respond to God kicking you by saying “only thou art holy!”.

In short, this other Jesus loves dogs. Because this false Jesuscannot bear honest scrutiny, because he has a great deal to hide! If you examine him closely, you’ll see he isn’t Jesus the Christ, but the devil-appearing-as-an-angel of light, calling himself Jesus to confuse you!

This other Jesus has no friends; for friends are too close to him, friends would see through the facade of light and glimpse the monster beyond! And so he demands blind loyalty, unquestioning faith and absolute subservience from people willing to subjugate their logic and their sanity in order to worship a beautiful God whom they can never hope to understand!

Such people will never find God; no dog will. And it is for that reason that there will be no dogs in the holy city; there will be no dogs eating of the food of the children of God; there will be no dog in the temple of God. For the trait men, and Satan, love the most about dogs – blind loyalty – is an abomination to God.

So now you know why God hates dogs. How do you feel about them? Are you following His holy, perfect example?

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